I had a thought the other day
It was that if I had to narrow down my current stage in life and approach to the world to a single word, it would be “exploration.”
I want to travel the world, to see literally everywhere, from nooks and crannies of the city I live in to grand cities across the globe.
But it’s more than just a matter of exploring in physical space. I am also in the process of exploring my own self, my mind and my personality and my beliefs.
In all my classes and studying I am exploring the vast pool of knowledge there is to learn.
I am trying to explore others as well. I want to have the opportunity to really know someone else; what brings them joy, what makes them tick, how they see the world, what their philosophy and perspective is, what worries them, what brings them hope, how they grew up, who they want to be, their ideals and goals for the future. I think rather than holding out on the hope that somebody else will truly know me, it’s better to seek out knowing and understanding others, and hopefully what goes around will come around, as they say. And on that end, I am exploring what it means to be honest by consciously trying to embrace authenticity and openness, to let people in, to see and know the real me, though I find I tend to naturally stay guarded and keep most of my thoughts and feelings internal- it takes a great deal of courage to explore breaking down this protective, comforting layer. I think I am doing these things already with my friends, but there is always more to learn about people; we all have so many dimensions. And maybe I do hope I’ll find somebody I can love in the romantic sense… a whole continent of life I largely have not ventured thus far.
But my favorite part of using the frame of exploration is that that’s just what it is. Exposure, discovery, making new insights, new connections, new opinions and beliefs, but everything is still changeable. Nothing is set in stone, it is all still in the process of development and formation; it is all fluid and still being stitched and pieced together. No pressure to come up with firm answers. Just thinking about all the different possibilities.
That’s where I am. And I like it.